I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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