it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
