I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
