mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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