wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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