She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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