Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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