i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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