girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
