I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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