Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
