Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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