Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
