I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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