why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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