shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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