i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Two words: blizzard sex
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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