forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
