Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Ladies don't puke and tell
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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