Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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