It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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