Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
