You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
