So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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