Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
