i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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