I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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