We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
