OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
