Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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