dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
