he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
