Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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