You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
