he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
