exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
