if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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