I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
that is very illegal...i love you.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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