if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
