I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
