blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
