Non-Jews are for practice
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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