I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
