Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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