I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
