There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize