Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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