After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
