The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
