Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
