How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
