Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he fucked my hip out of place.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
