I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
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you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
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I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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