We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize