also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
