Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
