Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
