in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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