Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
