My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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