U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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